Middle Age

Submitted Thu, 08/29/2013 - 9:48am by Pat Urban

August 29, 2013

 

     I always thought that “Middle Age” means that you’ve lived half your life.  But according to a new survey, you don't become middle aged until you hit 53.  That doesn’t mean you’ll live to be 106, though; it’s just when you start to show signs of middle age.  Keep in mind, 53 is just the average.  You could hit middle age even later . . . or a lot earlier.  The survey also came up with some signs that indicate that you’ve hit middle age.

 

1.  You lose touch with technology.                                                                                                      

         -I’m still pretty good with that—a wiz with my TIVO remote, though I absolutely refuse to text.  And I can put together an awesome playlist on my ipod. 

 

2.  You find you have no idea what the "young people" are talking about.                                              

          -No, but what I have found is that a lot of what “young people” are talking about isn’t worth hearing.

 

3.  You constantly have new aches and pains.

            -Yeah, that’s starting to happen.

 

4.  You need an afternoon nap.                                                                                                

          -Need?  No, but if the opportunity presents itself…

 

5.  You groan when you bend down.

            -Not yet, but I’ll bet that’s coming.

 

6.  You can't name any modern bands.                                                                                     

          -You mean like Pearl Jam and Nirvana?

 

 7.  You're always talking about your joints.                                                                                          

          -No, not the kind they mean.

 

8.  You hate noisy bars and restaurants.                                                                                               

          -Yeah, that’s me.  After 20+ years in the radio biz, my hearing ain’t what it used to be, so following conversations in noisy environments it getting harder.  It drives my wife nuts, because she’s not sure if I’m not listening, or just didn’t hear her. (Sometimes is a combination of both)   

 

9.  You start getting ear hair, bushy eyebrows, and nose hair.                            

-I hate to admit it, but I have had to pluck a few errant hairs from my ears.