July 3, 2014
In your head, you should read this in the voice of a late-night TV Informercial announcer:
So…It’s a long holiday weekend, and you feel like firing up the grill. But wait! Hot dogs and hamburgers are just too expensive. Human flesh is a much cheaper alternative, but what about the calories?
For some reason, a scientist in England figured out the calorie count for human flesh. He says that if you ate an entire person, it'd be about 81,500 calories. Each arm is 1,800 calories . . . each leg is a massive 7,150 calories . . . your organs are around 1,500 calories each . . . and your heart is 722 calories. And now you know.