The Bachelorettes

Submitted Tue, 04/24/2012 - 10:43am by Pat Urban

April 24, 2012

        My fiancé and I had a real nice weekend.  We took a day-long bus trip to New York City.  It was one of those deals where they drop you off in midtown, and pick you up at the same place about 9 hours later.  In between, you’re on your own.

       I guess I got my fix of culture for the year.  We spent a few hours knocking around the Museum of Modern Art—her idea.  We also walked up to Central Park to visit Strawberry Fields, and down to Times Square, where even native New Yorkers feel like tourists.

      All in all, it was a great day, except for one thing.  On the bus with us was a bachelorette party.  Holy Crap, it was like being trapped for 2 and ½ hours with a tribe of Howler Monkeys.


     On the way there, they spent a lot of time hooting and discussing their scavenger hunt (Get a picture of yourself with a guy named “Dick”! HEE HEE HEE SQUEAL HEE HEE SQUEAL SNORT HEE HEE HEE SNORT).  But that was nothing compared to the ride home.

      They went to see the musical “Rock of Ages” and must have enjoyed it quite a bit.  All the way home, they alternated between playing drinking games that you apparently win by shouting at your opponent, and singing the chorus of the song “Heaven” by Warrant.  They probably wanted to sing more of the song, but only knew the words to the chorus.  I was never a big fan of that song, but after a long day knockin’ around the city, even if Jani Lane came back to life to sing it, I wasn’t in the mood.   Especially when it was “sung” by 10 girls in about 8 different keys.   

     When we arrived at their stop and they all got of the bus, the remaining passengers broke into a spontaneous round of applause.  I doubt any of us will ever be able to hear the words “Heaven isn’t too far away…” without cringing involuntarily.