Advice for Comic-Con

Submitted Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:43am by Pat Urban

July 22, 2014

 Comic-Con is in San Diego starting Thursday and running through the weekend.  If you’re going to Comic-Con, here are some important tips to remember:

  •  Be sure to have a good laugh at all the hopelessly pathetic "Star Wars" LOSERS, while you're talking to your buddies in Klingon.
  •  Listen, everyone knows "Guardians of the Galaxy" is gonna suck.  Don't make things worse by harping on it.
  •  If you really want to turn heads with your outfit, dress as someone with a job, a girlfriend, and a place of their own.
  •  If you're in a long line, point and shriek, "Hey, look!” “It’s Wil Wheaton!" and then watch everyone scamper.
  •  If you see two "Star Wars" enthusiasts arguing over whether Greedo shot first, don't get involved.  You could get hurt.
  •  Occasionally you will encounter beings with slightly larger breasts than your own.  These are called "women" and should not be approached under any circumstances.
  •  Even though it's indoors, sunglasses will be useful protection from the sea of pale skin.
  •  Bring lots of condoms.  Kidding!  But remember to put your name on your inhaler.